上帝的孩子是蒙福的，我是蒙福的。
一直以来，总有一招能够化所有问题为乌有，我总是屡试不爽，却也总是在面对问题时最看不到的方法。
工作了一年多，你说没工作压力那是骗人的。如果没压力，那我看也不需要再继续了。对我来说，没压力是一件难求的事。不论是在大学赶毕业论文的时候，住院的时候，还是现在工作的时候。我很努力回想我压力的时候是怎样的心情，很努力很努力，但是总觉得现在已经不能感受到那时候的心情了。免不了觉得压力个屁嘛，小事一桩。我也有我的压力，但是时间不会很长，一个月已经是超长的了。在我压力的时候，我不会去登报纸，可能会偷偷告诉朋友们我的压力，但是没几个会知道，就算知道了，也已经是压力后期了。
你说呀，你还有个萧先生和你分担，压力就减半啦。我只能说，我太了解这个男子，了解到我用膝盖想都知道如果我告诉他，他的反应会是如何。他的回答会是，小事啊。
前一阵子，我面对工作极大的压力，也是到目前为止人生中最漫长的压力日子。每天起床我会坐在被窝里，反反复复心里呐喊不想去上班，天天都在希望今天是星期五那该有多好。晚上在被窝里，我不刷feed，我看着天花板，思考自己是否从一开始就做错了选择。那种日子好漫长，没人倾诉，不会倾诉。每次看着萧先生都必须装作正常，言语间不能透漏半点压力。一半压力也原始于他，他是个很能干的人。你说有多能干就有多能干。刻苦耐劳，上到山下油锅。这样一个人，压力会是多大呢。不懂，不知道，我只知道，自己和他相比，渺小的像一粒沙。所以我没告诉他，他不该多操一份心。他也会觉得我很多余，根本小事一桩，烦得哭爹喊娘。
有天晚上，也许到了极限吧，我在朋友群组里发了我好孤单的字眼，就去睡了。朋友们不知所措，从来我是最没有压力的一个。朋友说，为什么不和萧先生分担呢。我关掉电话。暗暗的房间里，我自己一个人。我想起了爱我的上帝。一个月也不是说没祷告过，天天祷告，但是却还把包袱背在自己身上。那一夜，我完全放弃了。放弃了自己的努力，也有些歇斯底里了。我说，你到底要我学习什么呢？什么都好，我不想再理了，你能解决，你来解决。大哭了一场，就睡去了。那晚睡得特别香甜。第二天依然去上班，问题就那样解决了。我不懂为何，但是就那样问题消失了。
第二天晚上，我告诉了萧先生我的烦恼与压力，如我所料，他说是个小问题。芝麻绿豆小事，他问我怎么解决的。我说就那样解决了。不需要你，就解决了。他或许是有些吓到了吧，发现，在我很苦恼的时候，他一点蛛丝马迹都不知道，也有点内疚想哭吧，在我需要的时候，他不在也不知道。我呢，就一切泰然。还好我靠的不是他。
放弃，也许并不是一件坏事。放弃努力，放弃自己，只管让上帝来解决。
对于婚礼，我也只管放弃。毕竟，最重要的，我已经抓住了。
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Blog make up
Yeah, I just gave my blog a little pampering, minor make up. It didnt really take that long but I still needed to shut the blog down for a few days. It could be faster if I hadnt had other business on hand hhaha. For those who waited, thank you for the wait. xoxo.
Unlike last time, I searched for blogger templates online, downloaded and installed it, tah-dah. I was coding-idiot back then. I used the previous look for over 4 years, i think? It was already there before I even entered university lololololol. Besides the reason of being real lazy, I failed to find one which I really really like that I could let go of the blue tree template. So I got a little bit fed up, and decided that I should do my own design. Now, who says I dont do design? Hahaha its very amateur one and I like everything simple, just like how my wardrobe is full of only black and white clothes, so here comes my simple blog template :/
I didnt really code the whole design la, it was built on ready framework.
Nothing much to say about this template because it is just so simple hahaha. Ah, and circles. Circle is kinda the trend now, Instagram and Google+ got circles anyway. I experimented on the blog header, how should I design the header using photoshop. I got some sketches but I wasnt really satisfy with them, until I got to this one. I got the title flower circle online, but I had to do something to it because the background was white when I first downloaded it. There were too many details in the flower circle, I couldnt just burn the background transparent using bonanza background-burner online tools, though it is really nice for regular use. Bonanza failed to burn the background inside the circle. actually it could go like that with the white background since Ive already decided to use white background on the blog too but for a perfectionist like me, I couldnt cope with the thought. so I photoshoped it nicely and patiently, to satisfy my perfectionism ego.
I browsed through some blogs too. Learnt how to embed in Google font into the blog and so. Changed the timestamp round too, that was a little tricky. Took me hell a lot of time.
You see, I cannot stop once I start working on this coding thing. My friends asked me if I really wanna go for programmer, they felt like I was wasted for only programmer, but what else can I do? And I like programming. The feeling to achieve, to see something you work on, a dilemma solved for clients. Thats why I tweeted on Twitter, its so nice to know what youre actually interested in. I am so blessed.
Programming is not easy, i know. and programmers get freaking no life. But if it is something i like, why not?
去年的今天
生病住院一周年快乐！
真快乐啊，想起一年前的死鱼样，不止我现在快乐，连萧养豪都快乐吧。那时他最忙了，教会因为接近受难和复活节，诗班和敬拜赞美练习都忙死了，又要载生病的我进进出出，最后本来诗班要在受难节晚上献唱的，结果他没去，因为我终于进了医院。
那是体重是我有史以来最轻的时候，<=40kg，像个骨头人，就像 Tim Burton 的那部 Nightmare Before Christmas 的 Jack 一样，丑死了。
萧养豪告诉我，丑死了，他都不想多看我一样。他真的这么告诉我，我反而笑死了。我从来没想过自己有生之年体重会少过40，每天提心吊胆爬上体重器，哪怕有一天只剩下35kg 我风吹下就飞走了。我那么担心是因为有人告诉我生病瘦了后就很难再胖回去，不管怎么吃都只剩下骨头。我才不要那样叻，我自己都不想看镜子里的自己，何况别人。看来，我杞人忧天了。现在一样胖胖的，嘻嘻。
也真难怪大家那时候看我总是露出可怜的目光。不过现在正常了，因为现在我每走一步路，整身的肥肉都会抖，抖到我显去。
一年前，一年后，所幸我康复了，不然你见到我会伤到你那美丽的眼睛，娃哈哈哈哈哈。
一周年真快乐，去年的今天让我如此得珍惜我还能够吃东西的每个时候，天底下最大的祝福莫过于可以吃可以尝尽所有美食，感恩感恩！所以小姐们，不必减肥啦，减到最后什么都不能吃才来后悔啊。
一个人•两份情
我想我也有温柔的时候
这时候的你 有没有那么一点希望在你身边的是我
是你限制了我
回不去的曾经像是夏天里的烤烫芋头 那么香 却不是对的时候
我想我也有霸道的时候
这时候的你 吹着冷冷的冷气 有没有那么一点想起我温温的体温
是你心疼我
捉得紧的珍惜像是冬天里的温暖毛衣 那么刚好 也一样实在
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i finally finished my last paper yesterday! i really cant believe it even its until now because you know lah, the feeling of how slow was the time from the first to the last paper pfff. i started my first paper on 13 and the last ended on 23, only 10 days i felt like half year lol. feel like de javu because this feeling happens all the time for 4 times already everytime i ended my final exam for the past 4 sem. starting on next sem, ill be super senior to new juniors O.O think graduation is not really that far. hmm.
next, im gonna need to pack my belongings into boxes and move them all to the next block store. i got the manpower manpower! the boxes are even bigger than me. manpower come come! and then ill be going to kl on 29 for my cousin's wedding reception on 30 june. woohoo my mum is gonna be there and shes gonna pay for my buyssss.
next again, ill be ready for taiwan trip. 10 days in taiwan! heard that girls accessories are sold wery wery wery cheap in taiwan. oh well, the exchange rate is now 100NT=10.90MYR damn the things im worrying about is, i dont have the freaking extra money for shoes, clothesss #cries
next next, ill be home on 15 july, the day which im really really looking forward to. :D my sister told me that its the last night of BCF? well, papa lets go lahhhh
p/s 1 : my sister just got the notice from jpa asking her to go to bonding interview on 23 but she couldnt make it so its postponed to 30 june. shes flying back all the way from japan on 30 june and going back on 1 july. guess the fares, almost 2000MYR! damn my heart bleeds................
p/s 2 : patrick its really really really hard to get to you without facebook lahhhhh please lahhhhh find me when you see this!
Heart booth
The thing that im so in love with iphone is that, it has a lot of my favourite apps from different categories. For examples, the creeps for game, heart booth for photography. They are not available for android market, yet, i dont know but i just love them to the max! Instagram was one of them, it has finally arrived to android market not a long period ago, causing vast frustration to apple product users TROLLED!! However, i like iphone version instagram more than android's.
Im just so lucky because my boyfie never bothers to install those kinds of so called 'kill boredom thing' onto his iphone, so i can install whatever apps i want from app store and use it freely as if its mine HAHAHAHAHAHA patrick youre not the only one with app store!!
Boring afternoon with the kill boredom app :D
Btw, sorry for the messy alignment zzz because i dont know how to do it using mobile zzz. Not smart enough to use smartphone zzzzzz.
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考试考完了 开心到什么都不能做 只能傻笑
呵呵
其实5号就考好了 玩到现在 看戏看到现在
现在是凌晨4点钟
我在干嘛呢 看戏咯
最近真的是开心
虽然倒霉事比平时多了差不多十倍（囧） 但是没差啦 开心嘛
可是最近运气真的是背透了
噢不 运气会散的 散散散
是时候睡了
早安 世界 :) 可是 每次当我想起你 我没有办法能够再坚强走下去 也或许 是真的没有最后了
女孩一辈子只需要4个朋友
1. 她们里面一定要有一个比你什么都强，比你美貌，比你有能力，比你有气质，比你有掌控力，哪怕你是女主管，你是万人心目中的成功女性，但你也得听她的。因为 她不需要男人，她自己掌握自己人生，会重装系统，会分辨东南西北，一把进位……但她还充满风情，绝不是男人婆。她会让你有成长的空间，有目标，有垃圾桶。 她绝对不会跟着你继续自怨自艾，她应该是狮子座，或者白羊，掌控力超好，每次都能在你迷茫的时候一语点醒你，她告诉你，什么都是自己造成的，所以，只能成 长，不要抱怨。
2. 她们里面还要有一个，这个人迷迷糊糊，遇到一点点小小的感动就大哭不止，她是服务型朋友，她热爱生活，非常热爱，每天无忧无虑，为你做什么她都高兴，因为 她就是喜欢和你在一起，听你说话，给你说她的理想，给你说她的小秘密。她会问你她应该做什么，她应该留什么发型，化什么妆，穿什么衣服，你说的她都相信， 一一照办。她激发你的母性，让你学会照顾别人，关心别人，在小小优越感的同时也感染她的无忧无虑，25岁的你和她在一起，也会变得是成熟的。
3. 第三个，她热情美丽，她也很成功，工作上进努力，爱情努力，装扮努力。她给你的是新鲜的人事物，给你讲你从来不曾经历过的有趣的故事，她就是你朋友里面最有故事的人，你没有办法过的生活，你没有办法经历的人生，她都会展现给你看，像看电影一样，有激情的人生。
4. 最后一个，和你过着从来不一样的人生的人，你世俗，她不需要，因为她从小接受良好教育，衣食无忧，家底殷实，母亲的贤良温婉大气智慧给了她平静的心灵，不 需要承担任多余的责任，随着自己的理想发展。深爱艺术，她可能是插画师，可能是专栏作家，但是没有很出名，到处能看到她的小作品，温暖而善良。同样感性的 她是你生命中的净土，和她在一起，给你平静的力量，不需要争斗什么，生活原本就应该这样好。
Courtesy of article from Qiao
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had a nice chat with you.
im glad everything goes fine after like, 4 or 5 years?
still, youre the porno addicted sicko (smirk)
but if it still has to be that way, i just wish i can quit being the reason anymore.
