After Caitlyn Jenner (formerly known as Bruce Jenner) came out as a trans woman recently after years of struggling from her gender dysphoria, my mind is running all wild again.
You can do some googling of her background, she was a gold medal winner in Olympic Games, an outstanding athlete in her days. What my mind is killing me with, is the thought that is she straight, or is she lesbian?
She claimed that shes been in this dilemma since she was young, and started the hormone replacement therapy in 1980s to slowly transform herself physically. However, she stopped the therapy when she met Kris Kardashian in 1990s. Why? I dont know, maybe she knew that Kris is straight, and she was a male then and she could stand a chance of getting her if she stayed male. She was then still a he, mentally a she, but physically a he, which that means, in my own interpretation, she loved Kris as a woman mentally. She also claimed that she had never been attracted to men but exclusively had been attracted to woman before the transition. Though physically she was a male, but mentally the other wise. I cannot stop wondering is she a lesbian or what?
Very confusing, is it not?
This brought out debates between my sister and I. She claimed that physically Caitlyn was a male, and she loved Kris when she was still a male, that makes her straight. But I said the otherwise. As i mentioned, she loved Kris when she felt that shes a woman. Woman and woman, lesbian. Hence, shes a lesbian mentally, but straight physically.
Same situation for the legendary Jessie Chung. Was she a gay? She felt that shes a woman, thats why she fell for her husband. If she thought she would be a woman one day, and she still fell for her husband, even though she had yet to transform, does that make her a gay? But she was a woman mentally! Not quite sure about her husband though, he can accept both woman and male. Bisexual, perhaps?
Really, what happened to this world. In the end, we gave up this conversation, and she got a new hashtag for all, #THEWORLDHASNOHOPE . hahaha.
Debate
Dayre
♛
生活平平淡淡，没什么好说的。最近都在赶工，你也没心情听我赶什么工吧。最喜欢就是周末，过渡期未过啊。2014上半年都在过最颓废的日子，最后一个学期，毕业论文毫无压力，上课又只上两天，其余都在吃喝玩乐。妹啊，现在有点心理不平衡（笑）
2015了，25了。别说什么生日还没过、新年还没过才24之类的话，自己清楚。从前从前，我一直认为22是老人家了，从没想过自己会真的活到22。后来不知不觉22的时候，才感慨自己后知后觉。但是22的时候也没想过自己会25，我就是这么白目吧。就算是现在，我也好难想象自己30啊。
25了，如无意外，人生就这么过了三分之一。萧养豪告诉过我，人生短短75，头25是用来努力学习，学习教训，学习知识，学习人生。接下来的25年是用头25年所学来的东西，努力奋斗，奋斗事业，奋斗家庭，奋斗自己的价值。最后的25年，是用第一个25年的学习，加上第二个25年的奋斗成果，来无忧无虑地享受你最后的25年。我觉得这样的人生计划很不错。在我第一个25年的最后一年，我是时候努力学习工作上的知识、待人处事的知识了。我想想，该抛下那个孤僻、忧郁的性格，到外面大大的世界见更多的人，做更多的事。真的有些许领悟了，有些事，有些情绪，只适合给年少的我。
我觉得我越来越老成了，也未必不是件坏事吧。
傍晚会去婚纱展，天啊，烦人的事情才要开始呢。还好有人陪，peter和芬芬有经验者，我会安心点。真的太恼人料，起初，想在Johor行结婚礼，因为两个人都是这里会友，又和牧师教会比较熟，但是也烦恼两人都是Sibu人，难免会想在异乡行礼不怎么适合。再加上林爸爸希望在家乡行，因为他想让亲戚朋友都能出席。既然老人家都讲料，当然就那么定咯。接下来是要抢婚期酒楼，天啊，烦恼通通给我滚开。结婚真的有那么多pantang么，连买个戒指都要等答复、看谁的戒指应该谁买？晕。
还要烦减肥的事呢！几时有规定说结婚就要减肥的？再晕。不过，大家有什么有效减肥方法，请告诉我。
唉，饿了。
Monday
A day off at home is not easy either. Last Saturday was a holiday in Johor, my company's policy is that whatever holiday falls on weekends (Saturday and Sunday for my office), Monday will be an off day replacement for the holiday. So, here am I, an off day at home.
All of my ex-coursemates are busy envying on my company's policy (another holiday falls on this Saturday, which that means another Monday off next week), while I am the only one who know that, off day is just another day. May even be busier. I cleaned the house the whole day, swept and mopped the floor, cleaned the toilet and washrooms, washed clothes and put them to dry, will cook dinner later in the evening.
Not complaining, I am enjoying.
And I finally have time to sit down for a proper update.
I graduated in June, officially on 3rd November, and I am one of the lucky ones who is blessed with First Class honour. All my girls were striving to keep the result maintained in First Class just to wish to have the PTPTN loan waived when we graduate. Congratulations, though not all of us got the waive, still well done. Time to apply for the waive, one of the documents needed is the graduation scroll with 'First Class' words printed on it. I cannot help to wonder what happened to UTM that they excluded the words from the graduation certificate. And now, the whole school First Class holders will have to attend to the Convo Unit in campus to request for the First Class verification. *facepalm* one of my friends actually spent RM40 for taxi fares to and fro just for this verification.
Not to mention the school promised to deliver the verification letter within one week, until now, the letter is still MIA. pff.
What is even more ridiculous is that Ibrahim Ali actually suggested the exemption should be apply for the Bumi-s only, and the reason is because it "could potentially create anger among Bumiputera students towards non-Bumiputera students". Come on!
Read it here : Malay groups want PTPTN loan exemption for Bumis only
Dont think I need to elaborate on the content, the title itself has already caused too much hate.
I dont believe at all that the Malays will ever want something like this. At least not all of them. Privilege for the Bumi-s only? Come on. I imagine my ex Malay classmates, they are so nice to us all. They actually helped me much on my assignments and projects. One of my ex Malay classmates is actually a CEO already to his own company. His company started when we were still in campus. A very talented leader like him, he never looks down on anybody and is willingly to help others on their studies. I just simply cannot relate my dear CEO friend with the Malay groups mentioned above.
I read through all the article comments and I am so relieved I am proven right. Not all of them lost their minds.
Ppl earn from their hard work, how is that unfair again? I just dont know what to think anymore. I read through all the comments, and I picked the one I liked the most.
Dramatic Week Ahead
i took two days leave in a row lol no intern ever dare to act as me, leave leave leave again! but im forced to, a small part of me actually wish to stay in the office, at least in air conditioned room, not this freaking burning heat hostel room.
WARNING! this is a very long and non picturesque post. leave it until another day if youre rushing for something else.
on Tuesday, i applied for the leave about a week ago. i got a hospital appointment arranged for the day. fyi, i have this kind of sickness, suspected tuberculosis, which made my weight dropped from 45-46kg to 39-40kg in a month. yes, a month. i coughed for over 2 months, bits by bits until i coughed whenever i moved, even a small gesture. its dry cough, anyway, i did not produce any phlegm.
i did not care much because i had never ever had anything as serious sickness on me before. minor flu or coughing, yes, but major ones, no. it got serious when i had high fever almost every night for about a week plus, and one night i hit 40+ degree temperature, my boyfie decided to get me hospitalized. 40+ degree, i freaked the hell out of the doctors.
however, i wasnt diagnose as TB patient at the first place. i was treated as pneumonia patient. i got water in my lungs. i heard that it was serious, much much much water at my left lung. so i stayed in the hospital for a week. every day, i needed to be injected with antibiotics via my veins on both my hands. the pain was excruciating. i couldnt even describe the pain. luckily i said no to my parents when they called and said wanna come to JB for me. their hearts were gonna break a mile like my boyfie did when they saw my facial expression when i was injected with the antibiotics. i was injected via my left hand at the beginning but my veins got swollen red very seriously after a few injection so the doctor suggested right hand then.
and that was the first time ever, i needed someone to bathe me lol. Ivy bathed me, she had seen my big fat buttocks, wo jia bu chu qu le LOL.
i was diagnosed as pneumonia patient for a month, eaten the oral antibiotics for a month after i was discharged in April. i constantly revisited hospital in two weeks or a month or so, to follow up on my chest treatment. i was suspected to have TB negative on May 7th, the day i started my first oral medication. why did i say suspect? because actually until today, the doctors cannot be 100% sure that i have this virus in me, because unlike the other TB patients, i did not produce any phlegm, even i was given the gas to help me extracting phlegm from lungs. i did not cough red. i did not have night sweat. i ate considerable well. what i had were weight drop and fatigue.
i couldnt actually do anything too, i had to start the treatment. so i did. i paid private medical center for more information, and they told me the same. my medication treatment is troublesome. i cant bring home the medicine, i have to attend to the hospital or clinic to swallow the pills in front of a medical agent and get my medical book signed. every day. so troublesome for me, i had to watch close the time for pills because if i miss the time, my body will produce an antibiotics to fight against the pills i consume.
this situation continued for approximately 8 months, until yesterday.
*DRUM ROLLSSSSS* im finally free from the treatment! *applause applause*
*applause continues* lol the virus were all gone. i am so clean now. yeah, though i still have a little bit of water in my left lung. situation is fine and that doctor congratulated me lololol. this is the best news in December.
so that was yesterday i was in heaven for the news. today, i dropped back to earth. i didnt pay for the extra hostel fee and i couldnt register my subjects for my final semester. i realized that last night, and i had to call many ppl for this issue damn.
things happened like this. i was debited with 1418 MYR last semester initially for all the fees. CIMB transacted the 1418 MYR successfully as always. however when i tried to log in to the register subject website, i was told that i couldnt proceed because i got unsettled payment. i was so shocked because i never knew that i was in debt with the campus. i checked with all my coursemates, they were all debited with 1418, except me. i was debited with 1440.50. WHAT??! why did i owe extra 22.50 MYR? i checked and checked and asked around. finally, i sorted it out.
i came back earlier this semester, 5 days. the hostel was not supposed to be opened to students before September 9th. for WM students, they would ask them to go back and come again to register college on 9th, but im from EM, and i left them with no choice. they let me to rent the room for extra 5 days. 4.50 MYR per day. 4.50 x 5 = 22.50. AH IT COMES CLEAR.
for that freaking 22.50 i have to take leave to rush to the Bendahari department this morning and settle all the payment before i could proceed to subject registration. i have 4 subjects next year, inclusive PSM2, and 3 are divided into 2 sections. everybody wants section 1 because the rooms for section 2 are so lousy with always malfunction desktops and air conditioners. the registration started at 8am and Bendahari opens at 930am. left me with no choice, i was dumped alone, separated with my coursemates, im in section 2. T.T
i havent complained about the hot weather and slow campus buses yet lol and here comes another issue again. damn! i need 128 credits to graduate and so far i have already got 113 credits, which left 15 credits for my last semester. the 4 subjects i mentioned above make up only 13. so i have another 2 credits more and faculty set it to be Foreign Language. i did some diggings into school offered foreign language, they usually offered 2 sections of Japanese, 1 section of French and 1 section of Mandarin. you know how much i loathe Japanese and chinese cannot take Mandarin course. again, im left with no choice, French.
okay lah no problem, French. now the problem is, for 1 section, the maximum number of students is restricted to about 40-50 students and the registration starts on February 9th, Sunday. screw the ppl who make Sunday a schooling day next year. foreign language is a hot subject in my school. I have to time race with the whole campus with 20k-30k students for that 40-50 seats in French class. i will not stand a chance for a slot in the class if i do not register the class on the first day of school before 1pm. plus, i have to attend to the Language Academy Faculty counter to register on the spot. meaning I have to register for the class before 1pm on February 9th. this makes me so dead. my flight is on freaking February 10th. LOLOLOLOLOL. the problem now is that if i miss to register for the foreign language class next semester, I WILL HAVE TO EXTEND ONE FREAKING SEMESTER FOR THIS 2 CREDIT HOURS!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
you may suggest that i can ask help from my WM coursemates to help me to register on the first day of school. haih, the department will not allow students to register the subject except for themselves.
who can save me. please.
Life as a programmer.
when i first came in here for internship program, the two very important things a senior, Jason, taught me were, 1) always save your work, even after you modify only an alphabets on your coding 2) when you save it using ctrl+s, hit the buttons several times to ensure its really saved.
my Netbeans got wild today while i was at work.
i need to force quit the Netbeans application before it started to get back to normal. my work, gone la of course.
aih, life as a programmer.
Monday night
wear too much of lens these days. i wanna look pretty -..-
mum is going to Bangkok tomorrow. 8 days without mum, wonder what will become without her at home. messy us, lazy us.
need to renew my Amway membership.
want to buy black jeans. internship starts soon.
need to do correction to thesis.
want to have hair-do.
......
....
...
..
.
so many things to do actually, but i always think i have plenty of time left. no rush no rush.
its July already, only 2 months left at home.
cannot come home so often if i choose to settle down in johor after graduation.
cannot afford to think of it now.
so emo, so lets read manga online.
NINCOMPOOP!!
路边的野花
ME NOT GUSTA!
i signed in my Facebook today to find out that 2 of my coursemates bought Samsung Galaxy W, too. i was like FU from the moment i knew it. before when Wonder was not launched yet, they were all crazy over Ace. 3 of the gang members are using Samsung Galaxy Ace. now, Wonder.
i should have spent all of my savings for Samsung Galaxy Nexus or Note and fed on blood for the next whole sem. i'd prefer that way. the news struck me and makes me wanna quit playing the role as a poor student. I QUIT!!! but still, phone is already bought. totally fucked. YIKES!
藉口
我真的不能了解有些人是不是真的功课多到，压力大到想找一些人气一气来减压的。不想贡献你们的宝贵时间和精力当初就不要写名字说要参加啦！你们以为写名字写爽的吗？要参加和做工的！玩的时候第一时间就到，到开工开会的时候又多多藉口不想去。这个开会不去，那个大召集做工也不去，那你们是想怎样？找的藉口又鲁到当别人全部是笨蛋。那天你们跟你们的组长说你们不能出席的理由，说得天花乱坠，我在旁边差点就喷饭。明明每天晚上和男朋友出去，既然骗说功课多，课外活动多，连读书的时间都没有。看看组长的脸，无奈。我想如果我们不是同班的，以后还要见面，他早就骂透你们了。还好我不是你们的组长，不然我随时短命几年。好好跟你说不能这样，真的忙的时候偶尔可以缺席，但是不是这样找藉口骗白痴，谁知道还被你们理直气壮地驳回，藉口更是好笑。你以为我每天跟你们在一起我是透明的啊？鸡蛋糕的。上一次不去Kayak的理由既然编出公公病重的事情，我的老天，我当场傻他，你很想你公公病重啊？另外一个说自己当天会伤风感冒喉咙痛，结果如你所愿，病了，我差点没笑出来。哇捞，这世界上，真的是什么人都有！
呼！这口气忍了好久好久，本来想慢慢忘记，结果今天终于爆发，忍无可忍，又没有地方发泄，只好写在我的秘密天地。
情绪还在高涨中，算了，都不关我的事。
天啊，我几时会疯掉啊！/.\
♛
我的faculty有一个男子，我的coursemate们都说他很帅。他在fac night那天的打扮纷纷吸引了不少的女子。虽然他是prom king候选人，但是还是被人气天王打败了。最近跟他有一些交流，三八的coursemate们就每天窝在我的房间对我严刑逼供，要我承认和他有一腿。但是每天的答案都让他们失望。其中有一个coursemate还拼命灌输我概念，说我不小了，其他coursemate都有男朋友了，没有的不久后就有了，就你一个还在交白卷，之类的话。真是皇帝不急太监急。当我回答他们，我们只有功课上的交流，偶尔谈谈天之外没别的，我们之间真的是淡如水，废话都不多一句的时候，他们又开始介绍我别的，别的，又别的。但是最后还是回到那个男子身上。我每天晚上都被他们逼得生不如死，每天都回答一样的问题，一样的答案。他又高又帅又白又聪明，不是吗？coursemate们睁大眼睛等我回答。我想了想，我没说不是，只是不是很注意罢了。不过他的那双眼睛，吸引我的就只有那双眼睛。蛮大的，很清澈。一个男子怎么会有那双眼睛。不过他头脑想的东西让我有一点三条线。我觉得coursemate们都特地ignore我话的后半段，以为过后，他们就特别注意他的眼睛，拜托，我只是突然想到，随口说说罢了。这些三八。他们还不断地故意在他或他的朋友面前大声言论，吓得我屁滚尿流，一上完他也有的课马上拔腿就跑出教室。
每天都过着这样的生活，真的是累死了。真希望project快快结束，看coursemate们还能讲出什么屁。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，想到那一天就开心。
好！充电完毕,开始做功课！
不过，我的coursemate们一个两个都是打不死的蟑螂......... 呜呜呜...... 救救我吧！
