I have changed. People change. Perhaps the life was intruded by someone something that was meant to trespass the life, and then everything just got messed up. World was turned upside down, and it's cynical that I used to just watch from the other side. When it came, I was helpless. Storms left eventually, but mess remains. Somewhere is not right anymore, and it never will be right anymore. I hide, more than I show. I never want my family to worry about me, my friends to make fun of me. Sometimes I do pity them, those who really care, because it must be tedious hanging around me.
Poker face plastic heart.
You don't know how little I see myself. The cube is so small and it surprised me when I learnt what it meant. You say me full of confidence, you see me painting colours, but you don't get to see the storms. Raging, you will be terrified. I will be envious of the whole world, because I will no longer think I am capable of anything. I think I have nothing worth. Everything I have, poof, just gone out of sight. Just a dust. And at time like this, I always choose to sleep away all the storms. I want to be left alone, I refuse to speak, I look at you in a disgusted way. You will not want to stay, you will want to leave. And so you leave, and so I am alone, on my own. And then, I will lay down and look at the ceiling as if it is not there. As if I can see the whole galaxy. As if. And then I will fall asleep.
When I finally wake up from the mishaps, perhaps some chasing and struggling in my reverie, I wake up with the new me.
You will never see me whining over the same matter again.
I no longer need you for this again.
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