imperfections

I have a friend, shes making her decision whether to leave this lovely homeland for a 4 hours flight further new land, in where she sees where her dreams set. I admire her courage, I could have done the same, if I were her, if I were single. Single is the best time of your life to make life a life, a different one from what you have now. And shes seeing that now. I admire her, because she has a dream that she still holds on, after so many years that it all seemed as if it was impossible to come true. I never see myself, vividly, in any form, in any dream. I just let days passed, I have plans, but I never really let them convince me firm enough for me to give up anything for them.

You see, shes single, so people will think it is easier to make that decision. I kinda agree with them, you do whatever you want when you dont have your own family. No kids to worry, no spouse means you have one less person to spit discouragement on your face. However, they do forget, sometimes, parents. My friend is not like me. I am not that attached to my parents and siblings, she is. Shes the youngest, and with the big age gap between her sisters and her, it is inevitable. With daddy passed away when shes rather young, her youth days were filled with mama's overwhelming love and sisters' never ending cares. Not to mention nice aunts and uncles.

I believe, the moment she made that decision, some parts of her, somehow, she had already given them up. What are they? I dont know.

Leaving home like that is not easy. It was not easy for me 4 years ago for me to come here alone. It is then not easy, after 4 years of university life, settled down here, with friends made during that 4 years gone. Not gone gone, but no matter how good we are, I have to stare at my phone screen for them. Only my phone screen. It is very tough, to come here, trying to strive a new life here alone, with a very busy man and a must-be-considering heart. And when I feel like when I need the most, I am always on my own.

Nobody in this world can ever replace your family. We all know that, which is why when she told her mama about the decision, they couldnt help but feeling down. Parents are always there to back you up, but they are also always the two who feel lonely seeing you growing up.

What is life? Imperfections. You cant have both sun and stars at the same time.