Cool Kids

God makes things happen the way you can never imagine how.

Confidence plumped real low these few days as I am struggling tug of war with myself. I am learning new programming language, which I have never ever encountered before. I am not major in Software Engineering so I have to start every new language on my own. Digging, exploring, several times before I figure it out. There are some other factors like, family, friends coming back to town, church responsibilities, blahblahblah. I can hardly balance out my time for all of those and i feel like something is missing somewhere somehow. If you know me, I hardly am stressed over things, but when I do, its more than what you can take.

I put those feelings into my everyday prayer and devotion, seeking for His words, begging for more and more faith. I am only a human after all.

I also fail to find myself any person in mind, that would be the suitable one, someone to not judge, to not complain what I have now are just small matters, to understand those are fundamental to me, to only listen and let me talk.

and I always hate to let anyone down.

This thing in me, once in a while, I will need a period of time of my own. With God. Alone. I will shut myself down, completely, for a few days, until I feel better. Until I feel charged. Until I am once again bulletproof. Because I reckon I may break anyone I meet when I myself am broken inside.

I still believe in God's work. When I pray, things may not seem different to eyes, but something is already happening. I just know that, you just know that. I am waiting and experiencing, for more miracles and blessings and grace.

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids, 'cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.

I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids." -- Cool Kids, Echosmith.